I got a text last night that read, "Just so u know i never sent that txt my ex did u know i aint like that and ill have ur cash in a few weeks got a new job". Ok, so the grammar/punctuation was pretty much nonexistant, but many ppl text like that... Whatever... I did not have the number in my phone, BUT, I knew exactly who sent me the text... Smokey. I first met Smokey on February 15, 2008 at a comedy club... He was working in the area as a contractor for this major company making crazy-good money... I didn't even know he made crazy good money until he left... Lol. **sigh** Anyway, he got "let go" because he refused to do a drug test. The night before he got "let go" he had been up all night snorting cocaine and smoking pot. How did I manage to get myself invovled with a guy that was so -- different? Rebelious? I don't really know what about him drew me to him, but was I suddenly swept into this fantasitical lifestyle of good food, fun people, great times... But was it really all that great? After Smokey got fired, he moved back home (which is a 16 hour drive). I didn't hear from him for three YEARS! In addition to being a land surveyor, Smokey writes his own music and has produced an album... I (of course) "liked" his music page on fb. He saw that I was a fan and sent me a friend request, which I (of course) accepted. Anyway, after he sent me the friend request, I immediately messaged him and he immediately messaged me. Haha. I didn't have any hard feelings towards him (we were both so young when all that happened before). So, the saga of Smokey and me continued... We got back into talking nearly every night. He talked about coming to visit me... And so he did. That was a most wonderful four days of my life! **drools** Smokey drove the 16 hours (he should've flown - haha). We talked for hours and hours. Although we were both poor and we couldn't really go and do anything, we had such a good time! Smokey went home and I started planning my next vacation that would take me 16 hrs away. I saved my pennies, got a flight, and went on a 5 day vacation. Because I didn't have to pay for a hotel, the trip itself was rather cheap. And I absolutely fell in LOVE with his town/city!! After I got back, we both knew that we'd have to save for a while before either of us would be making another trip. He asked me to come back for 4th of July. I wrestled with the request: my sister and brother-in-law and their kids were coming in (I hadn't seen them in 6 months), my grandparents were coming in (hadn't seen them in 6 months), and missionary friends were coming in (hadn't seen them in a few years). I was ready to work out the details with Smokey when I received a text that said something to this effect: "I am back with my ex. Please don't text me anymore. Thanks." My head was reeling! I didn't know what to do, what to think. I replied some angry/hurt reply... Several months later, I was really hurting for some money. Smokey actually owed me some cash, so I emailed him. He claimed to have just lost his job (not for drug use -- tangent: actually, Smokey cleaned himself up during those three years. Time with him was even more enjoyable since he wasn't preoccupied with getting his next fix.). I believed him b/c the job market where he lives is unstable... Yesterday I received that other text... And everything suddenly made sense. Smokey called me, we talked for about a half an hour. He told me that after his ex had sent that text, they fought for a couple days about it. He said that I deserved so much better than a text about him getting back with her. And, as he says, "Karma is a bitch." He found out she'd been cheating on him with several guys, so he dumped her -- again. (Why didn't he learn the first time?? *rolls eyes*) Smokey talked about what had been going on, why he had gotten fired, the job he just got, etc. He asked all kinds of questions about me... **sigh** I am having a very difficult time concentrating on my work (obviously). I keep thinking of our respective vacations and all the things we've done together... I find myself wanting slip back into fantastical life again... But ooohh, I'm so much smarter than that, right? 16 hours is a heck of a commute. Lol. The only way he and I could even begin to think about a "relationship" is if one of us relocated. He has a great job and lives in a beautiful place. I have (quite honestly) looked for jobs there for a long time (I love his town/city! I'd move there even if he and I were never going to be!) and haven't found anything. I've applied, I've been considered, and then another candidate was selected... Blah. So, yeah. I'm just blogging about this so that maybe I can actually be productive at work today... **sigh** | 
